We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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