I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
no. you can't hotbox the world.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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