Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
