whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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