JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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