Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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