You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
