i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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