so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
