and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
