We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
