She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
