My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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