The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
