yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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