I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize