I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
