He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
