Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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