It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
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