the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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