party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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