Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
