so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
She made me pour olive oil on her.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
