i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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