They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
