this boner is exhausting
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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