Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize