the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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