I have demons in me.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
