Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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