Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
