I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
