he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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