Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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