can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
