I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
