I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
