dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The uberlube is also flammable
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
