Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
