he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
home. puking in laundry basket.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
