It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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