quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
