we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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