i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
