maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
