so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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