OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
