Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize