fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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