brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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