oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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