I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
my shit smells like andre
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
