After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
