trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Rumble strips road head = magical
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
