I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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