So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
