i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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