how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
