worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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