I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
