Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize