is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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