you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
