yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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