Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Jerry, you need to find god
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
