Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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