erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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