he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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