come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
